Adoption?

So, Jake and I started trying for kids 5 years ago in December. We wondered if it would be hard and always toyed with the idea of adoption even if we could have our own kids. Well, now more than ever it may be a reality. About a year and half ago, we looked into it pretty heavily through the internet and our lutheran services division through our church. Unfortunately, it's extremely expensive! To do a domestic adoption, it's a minimum of $10,000 usually and if we go the foster to adopt route, it makes me risk my emotional health by having a child placed with us and then losing the child. And I have always said that I just can't handle that. So, we put it on the back burner and haven't put much thought into it in awhile.

So, today was my niece/ god-daughter's baptism. My younger sister, pulled me aside and told me that her fiance's 15 year old sister is 6 weeks pregnant. And that her future Mother in law is interested in Jake and I adopting the baby. It's all very new and we don't know how his sister feels or the boyfriend. We are obviously interested, but I don't want to "buy" a child. But I would do almost anything to get a child. So, I went into information overload when I was looking on-line and I still don't know what to do. I think what I need to do it get in touch with an agency, probably throuugh our church and see what we would need to do for our state. It all varies so much depending on where you live and how you are doing it.

Plus, I think Jake and I need to meet with the girl and her boyfriend and both their parents. I worry that they may be all gun-ho now, but things change when you feel movement and go through the pain of childbirth. That is such a bonding experience. Plus, it does come down to money too. Depending on what medical we would have to cover for the mother and/ or baby, it could get very expensive and i don't know that Jake and I could save up that kind of money in the next year. So, lots to think about and worry about. I was telling Sophia that my heart already hurts thinking about it. So, I don't know what to do. I wish I knew someone who had gone through an independent adoption, so I would know what to expect... Sounds like I need to find a support group or forum. I make the great friends on those. ;-)